Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lou Sopher. Aside from poking people with my pitchfork and various other forms of general mischief, I enjoy long walks on the beach and spending time roasting marshmallows over the lake of fire in my hometown.
My current avatar grew up with 10 siblings in a small town south of Kansas City and learned from an early age that we all have a devil inside. Now I’m here to tell you a story of how I realized this shocking truth and how it changed my perspective on everything.
Oh, some dirt is gonna fly! But don’t worry…
*All names were changed to protect the guilty.
Pumpkin muffie in hand, I prepared to battle my she-devil in the midst of an unsuspecting public. My victory seemed inevitable. The epiphany as I sat there waiting on her inspired the concept of this book. Everyone is someone’s Satan.
From my ball-busting stunt as a child to the choices I made early in my relationship with the ex-wife, this chapter shows how everyone wrongs someone else through the choices they make… whether intentional or not.
Mom was right. You reap what you sow. I learned this the first time the devil inside tricked me into lying. But as horrible as my punishment was, it only taught me to lie better. I planted plenty of demon seeds. Was this what I was to reap?
Your phone is actually a digital pitchfork ready to stab you with its selfish tines. I got stabbed with mine… And the irony? Due to my struggle I was able to recognize when Ginger’s pitchfork began stabbing us both.
What does a shiny bald spot on a fifth grader’s head have in common with your wife taking duck-face selfies at the Lincoln Memorial? Revelations, my friend. They bring revelations.
My cigarette addiction came back to haunt me when I read Ginger’s emails and realized how deep the rabbit hole went. Simply reading them would not suffice. I needed evidence. With so much to print, I settled into a routine: Print, pace, puff. Repeat as needed.
Sometimes a good memory is a curse. I couldn’t shake the text of those emails from my thoughts. But even as I hid my knowledge of them from Ginger and gave her plenty of chances to confess, she continued to spout her lies.
I caught my brother Drew in the act of cheating and decided to teach him a lesson. I used the same principle to catch Ginger as well, but forgot that sometimes my golden plans turn into a full blown vomit fest.
Mom showed me how to rebuke Satan by admonishing my girlfriend for her secular music. I adapted this technique and used it during my battle with Ginger. And the best part? Her parents watched the whole thing unfold…
“Revenge is a dish best served cold”, My brother Drew used to say. I respectfully disagree. Revenge is delicious at any temperature! Some of my revenge stories are just fantasy and some… let’s just say I still laugh at my devious nature.
My Grandpa taught me that fishing is just “trickin’ a fish”. I took this concept to another level when I cast my bait in the pond with plenty of fish. Too bad I didn’t listen to the real lesson of fishing… Sometimes the fish bite back.
After having my pumpkin muffie dinner with my she-devil in the first chapter, I began to taste the victory I so desperately desired. But the devil inside me gripped my heart so tightly I was unable to see the transformation taking place. I emerged from my cocoon sure I would prevail.
Timing is what makes a master debater. I fancied myself an expert at this strategy. But this technique was used against me by my own devil’s advocate. Little did I know I was about to give the devil inside free reign.
Why does court feel like a precursor to standing in front of God as he judges you for your past mistakes? I couldn’t help but draw this comparison as my gut wrenching saga came to a close. The problem is, my devil’s advocate was right. There are no winners in a divorce.
After a life changing experience in court, I settled into my new normal. You know what I realized? Everyone has a story to tell about their dinner with Satan. So I told you my tale about my tail, but what about you? Got Tale? I want to hear yours.